Factsheets -

Can they do this to me?

Being bullied at school
Is this discrimination?
Factsheets -

Clash or match?

What if they are older than me?
Long distance loving
Factsheets -

Getting it together - friends, girlfriends, boyfriends

Getting serious - or not
Personal space
How can I make my relationship work?
Factsheets -

Getting through the hard stuff

Surviving sexual assault - (young men)
Surviving sexual assault - (young women)
Factsheets -

Happy families

Where can I go for help with getting along with my family?
Factsheets -

Love or creepy?

Scary dates
Factsheets -

Male and female

Challenge the old ways
Factsheets -

Playing safe online

Grossing me out
Factsheets -

What can I do about an abusive relationship?

Factsheets -

When is it not okay?

Am I being abusive?
What about child abuse?
Factsheets -

Who can help?

If you are in danger call 000 or
tell someone you can trust

If you would just like to talk to
someone, help is at your fingertips ...

All the services below are available and free* for young people to use.
All the 1800 numbers operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
The person you speak to will be an experienced counsellor, not the police, not a government department.
You will not have to give your name.

* Please note that all mobile phone calls made from within Australia to Kids Helpline—using Optus (including Virgin), Vodafone, and Telstra—and 1800 Respect—using Telstra—are now free.

Relationship Advice

Are you having problems with a friend, partner or family member or would you just like to talk to someone about where to "draw the line"?

Call 1800 MYLINE (1800 695 463)
or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800

Online Safety and Cyberbullying

Are you being bullied online or has something happened online that makes you feel uncomfortable, scared or sad?

Call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800
or go to the Kids Helpline online
counselling service

Relationship Violence

Are you or have you been:

  • scared of someone hurting you?
  • sexually assaulted?
  • concerned about violence in a relationship with a friend, partner or family member?

Call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or
talk to a counsellor online.

Crisis Support, Suicide and Mental Health

If you would like to talk to someone about anxiety, depression, loneliness, suicidal thoughts or attempts:

Call Lifeline on 13 11 14

To find out how to report cyberbullying, offensive content, scams or online abuse, or just find out more about cybersafety, check out the Cybersmart website.

You can also download the Cybersafety Help Button to your computer for help and advice on a range of online risks including cyberbullying, unwanted contact, scams and fraud, and offensive or inappropriate material.

Legal rights and responsibilities

If you want some legal information you can go to the Lawstuff website and search in your state or territory. If you can't find what you want, you can send a legal question to Lawmail. Lawyers will reply to your message as quickly as possible, usually within 6 days.

Assisted Call Services

For the Translating and Interpreting Service please call 13 14 50. If you are deaf or have a hearing impairment, you can call the National Relay Service on 13 36 77.

Your Questions

Read responses from our expert psychologist, to some of the most commonly faced issues

The questions and answers below on this page help provide advice to others who may be in a similar situation. Please note the advice provided on this page is of a general nature and not specific to any individual or personal circumstance.

Please do not send questions raising urgent issues. If you need help, see our contact details for free counselling services.

The circumstances described in some of the questions below may raise legal issues. We suggest that contact be made with the Police or with a lawyer to find out what assistance or options may be available in these circumstances.

Previous Questions

I've recently become involved with a guy I work with. We're literally something close to soul mates. Everything feels right. We make time to see each other and hang out and stuff, but the catch is that he's got a girlfriend and a child. The five year age gap doesn't bother me (he's immature, I'm mature) and to some extent neither does the other relationship - that's for him to sort out. I haven't had anything this good come to me for so long, that feels this right. Is that crossing the line?

Our conscience can send signals about whether behaviour ‘crosses the line’ or not. While you write that “everything feels right” for you in this relationship, it is clear from your question that you are wondering about the consequences of being in it. That’s good, because there is potential for people to be hurt here, including yourself. While a ‘soul mate‘ type attraction can trigger powerful feelings, it makes sense to think things through before you get more deeply involved. The more you feel for this person the less able you may be to accurately judge the positives and negatives of being with him.

To begin with however, if you are under 16 years of age there are possible legal consequences of being in a relationship with someone five years older. There may be issues for your workplace too. Also, if you are over 16 but still in your teens, even five years age difference can be a lot. The younger we are, the more differences in age and experience can affect how we view the older person: we may be more easily influenced by them than we think. You do note though that “he’s immature, I’m mature”, and this is also interesting: he will need maturity to deal with this situation responsibly.

With an existing girlfriend and a child, he does have a lot to sort out. The honesty with which he deals with all three of you will tell you a lot about his character. While it might feel easier not to sort the “catch” out now, it will probably become a heavier – not lighter – issue the more deeply you get involved. It sounds like this is a relationship you are thinking of putting a lot into, and not just a casual fling. So it could help if you first work out what you would and would not like to see happen in it, and then discuss this with the guy. While he may technically be the one who crosses the line if he hides your relationship from his girlfriend and child, how would you feel about going along with it, and for how long? What kind of treatment and communication would you expect if you were in his current girlfriend’s shoes?

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