While this sounds like a tough time for you, it's really good that you've been able to notice the recent changes in yourself, and - most importantly - that you are reaching out and seeking help. Some of these changes you describe can happen when a person is experiencing depression or a depressed mood. At such times people can feel unusually tired, low, sick, sad or blue, and these feelings can cause them to withdraw from people, places and activities they would otherwise enjoy. Their sleep, eating, ability to think straight and look after themselves can also be affected, as can their sense of self worth. They might even start thinking the tough times will never end, and that can make them feel worse and worse. The depression is often a reaction to things that have been happening in our lives, but sometimes it can seem to come on out of the blue and might be the result of an underlying health issue. Either way, many young people (about 25%) describe feeling the way you do at some point during their teens , and so there's a lot of information available to better understand what's going on, and many people and places who can help deal with it.

It's sometimes hard to understand what may have changed to bring on some of the dark moods you describe, but it's likely that at 15 there's a lot going on for you: major body, thought and feeling changes either happening or 'waiting' to happen; more responsibilities and pressure at home and at school; being a whole lot more sensitive about what friends say and think about you; maybe having some disagreements with mum, dad, siblings or friends; sometimes wishing you were already an adult and able to do things your way; and on other occasions perhaps wishing you were still warm and safe as a kid with no worries about all this stuff. It is possible that if you took time to look, you could identify some things that might have happened recently which you've interpreted in a way that's upset you somehow: which may have triggered anxiety, anger or sadness within you. Sometimes we get too busy to notice the particular things that upset us, or it may just feel too uncomfortable for us to dwell on those things. Yet if we are already in a worried, angry or sad frame of mind, and don't do something to deal with those feelings and the situations which they are connected to, we can become sensitive to seeing a lot of other situations that come up as sad or stressful too: to be feeling down and to start interpreting more and more situations, comments, actions we notice around us as in some way negative. It can feel like we're in a deep hole getting deeper.

One of the tricks our minds can play when going through a low, blue time is to tell us that 'no one understands and nothing can help'. So, on top of everything else, we can start to feel totally alone. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. It's at times like these that it's essential to talk to someone and get some help, even if part of you doesn't want to. There is a range of people and approaches available to help sort this out. Some of those approaches include counselling and other therapies, better eating, exercise and relaxation techniques. Talk honestly to trustworthy, responsible people in you life about how you're feeling: your school counsellor, teacher, parent or other adult relative or friend. Your doctor and local Community Health Centre are equipped to provide important information and help to you too. Let them know how bad things are - including if you ever feel so bad that you think of harming yourself. There are also some excellent websites designed for young people, as well as confidential online and telephone counselling services:

• www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
• www.reachout.com.au
• www.headspace.org.au
• www.itsallright.org.au ‐ a website established by SANE
• Family Help Kit - issued by Centre for Mental Health, New South Wales Department of Health www.health.nsw.gov.au/policy/cmh/publications/Family_Help_Kit.pdf
• Australian Infant, Child, Adolescent and Family Mental Health Association www.aicafmha.net.au
• Kidshelpline: 1800 55 1800

They can start helping you clear the dark clouds hanging over you, and assist you with strategies and activities to see and experience life differently again.